Crisis of the male identity

In reading the required book for class, I came upon a captivating statement in the introduction section (page 7); "the crisis in male identity brought about by the changes in the workplace and family unit; the rise of left-feminism." I found this quote interesting because I truly feel males in today's society struggle with the "uprising woman." At least from my experience I have noticed and heard men want an independent woman who can handle her own business, make her own money, and do what she needs to do to get things done; however, once a man finds that woman they respond by calling them "too independent" and how they make it hard for men to be men. I feel like this particular statement hits that right on the head at least for men raised with traditional roles such as being told to be a provider. In today's society women work full time and in demanding careers, they take care of the household, and their children. Because there is a lack of fathers in the lives of children today women take over that role as well. this type of behavior can be intimidating to men and in turn can allow room for doubt in male, masculine identity. I feel it also leads to insecurities but can also make a man work harder. I have to ask what does this mean for women in the dating world and in society? Will the female species be looked down upon for this too?

Stereotypes from Class...Manly woman

My group discussed a lot of stereotypes for both males and females.  We agreed on most of them not only being stereotypes but also all seemed to be open to the fact that they were and are in fact stereotypes and are not necessarily true for all males or all females. When I was going over the article we read in class by Judith Lorber there was a particular statement than I really connected with. The statement was, "manly hearted women," which referred to women who live like men from the power standpoint. I believe a big stereotype for women is that they are loving and affectionate or at least should be. I instantly was drawn to this because I have always just taken charge of my life and demanded respect as a women but maybe in a stereotypical manly way. I'm not the type to make sure the house is spotless, the meals are hot and ready, or a man's clothes are pressed and ironed for the next day. Again, this is not to say I don't show affection but my way of showing it is not in a submissively dependent way. I grew up in a family where there was a lack of affection in not only the men but in the women. In fact in most situations it seemed the women lacked affection and love more than the men did. An ex-boyfriend pointed to it out to me one day. He said I didn't give him enough affection and brought up how that is what women "do."  No it is not what WOMEN do, it's what some people do. I have learned that when given respect, affection, and love I give it just as equal if not more because it is EQUAL amongst one another. I wonder how is affection and love defined differently for genders and how is it physically taught? Is it always through that exampled by women? Are affectionate men considered womanly men?

Night to His Day post

What makes a woman? Is it the way she wears her hair or how her makeup is applied? Is it the clothes she wears on her body and does that body shape determine just how womanly she is? Is it how she walks or talks or her chronological age? I have struggled with this concept of womanhood for as long as I can remember. I always wondered what would make me a woman. Would my first kiss do it? No. The day I lost my virginity? Not even close. If anything it made me feel like property and not my own. Would having a kid or getting married do it? Moving out? I just could not grasp the idea and with every situation I could not find the answer. Women all have different journeys and that itself makes it hard to find the answer. These last couple years and more recently the last couple of months I have been on a journey of self discovery. When I read the article for class, Simone de Beauvoir is quoted saying, " one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman; it is civilization as a whole that produces this creature...which is described as feminine," it hit me. What makes a woman and what makes a WOMAN are two different creations! As a little girl all the things I thought would make me a woman such as my style, makeup, walk, and talk were what society taught me in terms of being a woman. As a 23 year old woman today I have learned that being a woman is being created. I have become a woman based on what I have been through, the people I have met and  have lost, the experiences enjoyed and the experiences regretted, the tears, the pain, and the joy; I am a woman because I have become a woman. I am a woman because I continue to become a better woman. I am a woman because I don't let society "make" me but because I let society guide me in a positive direction. I am a woman because that's what I choose to be.  I often wonder about what do other women think or other men. What is being a woman to them? What is being a man? Really.....how do we get there?