Stereotypes from Class...Manly woman

My group discussed a lot of stereotypes for both males and females.  We agreed on most of them not only being stereotypes but also all seemed to be open to the fact that they were and are in fact stereotypes and are not necessarily true for all males or all females. When I was going over the article we read in class by Judith Lorber there was a particular statement than I really connected with. The statement was, "manly hearted women," which referred to women who live like men from the power standpoint. I believe a big stereotype for women is that they are loving and affectionate or at least should be. I instantly was drawn to this because I have always just taken charge of my life and demanded respect as a women but maybe in a stereotypical manly way. I'm not the type to make sure the house is spotless, the meals are hot and ready, or a man's clothes are pressed and ironed for the next day. Again, this is not to say I don't show affection but my way of showing it is not in a submissively dependent way. I grew up in a family where there was a lack of affection in not only the men but in the women. In fact in most situations it seemed the women lacked affection and love more than the men did. An ex-boyfriend pointed to it out to me one day. He said I didn't give him enough affection and brought up how that is what women "do."  No it is not what WOMEN do, it's what some people do. I have learned that when given respect, affection, and love I give it just as equal if not more because it is EQUAL amongst one another. I wonder how is affection and love defined differently for genders and how is it physically taught? Is it always through that exampled by women? Are affectionate men considered womanly men?