Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Foucault: power in relationships
In th chapter of Foucault and power I found myself extremely draw to the statement, " wherever power is exercised, resistance is also produced." I was recently in a relationship with this guy for over three years where I felt powerless in terms of communication. I never grew up in a household where there was communication especially about feelings. It just wasn't allowed or acknowledged respectfully. Because of this I have an extremely difficult time expressing my feelings accurately or articulately, on the other hand, his communication was very articulate, straight forward, and well worded so many times I would leave things alone which gave him power. This was the same growing up. I found myself being resistant to communicate, to share, or to make that effort to gain some power. I resisted it and was turned off by it after awhile to the point of just not. So I have to say that I do agree with power comes resistance, whether it be from the less powerful one or the one with the power.
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I can definitely see how you felt powerless in that relationship. It seems as though because you gave your boyfriend at the time power by just leaving things alone, you were resisting. By suppressing your emotions, it appears as though he was able to sort of dominate any communication the two of you had. This example gives a clear view at the relationship between power and resistance. With you resisting the amount of power in the relationship was certainly imbalanced.
ReplyDeleteKimberly,
ReplyDeleteOnce again, I find myself reflecting on the issues more because I have read your blog -- interesting as this post is about being articulate or not, being silent or not. What role do you think silence plays in constructing or defusing power? You touch on this to some degree but I think there is a lot more there -- for example, while I used to always feel that I had to state a strong, well-reasoned opinion about many things, now I feel that I retain more power (and self-respect) when I am silent or simply ask: "Why do you think that?"
Myriah also provides an interesting view of this relationship (power and resistance, I mean!)
I think silence in the relationship an both give power and take it away. As you mentioned Dr. Crafton it can give power by not giving in and taking the higher road. At the same time being too silent allows others to dictate to you and your life. In this particular relationship I allowed my silence feed into a negative power in which I resisted the fight but lost all power to myself. Truthfully. In terms of resisting I did I stopped giving in which I guess made him realize I no longer"cared" or listened to hear, I simply agreed which ultimately upset him causing loss of power.
ReplyDeleteKimberly,
ReplyDeleteYou are right -- depending on how silence is used and for what purpose, it can exude power -- or a lack of. I remember when I was dating my now husband and I had not developed my own voice and confidence to a high level and there was a stretch of time when I thought I should agree with whatever he said, did, or wanted. After a period of time, our relationship started breaking down .... when it resumed, I decided that I wanted and needed to be an equal partner in the relationship and started saying what I thought, wanted, and needed -- the degree of respect for myself AND in our relationship increased immediately.